Hundreth Couple
by Xenolord
Summary: Cloud and Yuffie are the Hundreth Couple in the Golden Saucer's Enchantment Night. How will Aeris and Tifa take it? T For suggestive dialogue. Clouffie


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7.

Author's Note: I know, I've previously stated Yuffie is not my favorite character, but she's funny, and I gotta give her that. This doesn't follow the game script to the letter. And yes, I am well aware of how horribly Out of Character Cloud gets. Silence you.

100th Couple

Even though Cloud was tired, he just couldn't for the life of him get to sleep something Vincent said the night before... what was it? Something about Black Materia... Sephiroth... It was all too confusing. Just before he was finally granted with some rest, there came a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Vincent grunted, morphing out of bed and onto the floor. He drew his pistol and held it at the side of his head, ready to fire. With his free hand he grabbed the handle, threw the door open and pointed the gun out.

"AUGH! DON'T SHOOT ME!" A familiar voice called. Vincent saw a figure drop to the ground, hands over her head.

"Yuffie. Sorry about that." Vincent replied, holstering his pistol. Yuffie stood staring at Vincent unsure.

"Knock on a door and almost get my head blown off. Geez." She was shaking, but standing. "Hey, Vincent, is Cloud still awake?" Vincent took one look behind him, saw Cloud's eyes still open then turned back.

"Yea. What's up?" He replied. Yuffie stared at Vincent, who was blocking the door.

"Can I speak to him?" She finally asked, slightly agitated. Vincent looked back at Cloud, then back at Yuffie.

"Why?" He asked, shrugging. Yuffie let out a loud, audible groan.

"You're IMPOSSIBLE Vincent!"

"Oh, let her in." Cloud finally said to Vincent who chuckled to himself as he motioned Yuffie in. Cloud threw himself off the bed and rolled his neck, cracking it three times. "What's wrong, Yuffie?" He asked as Vincent shut the door.

"Well... I was wondering if... you wanted to keep me company tonight? It's Enchantment Night, and we should go out and... I dunno... be enchanted."

"What makes you think Cloud would do that after the Great Wutai Materia Heist you pulled earlier?" Vincent muttered, crossing his arms, staring at Yuffie. The Ninja just rubbed the back of her head and smiled nervously.

"I could be convinced to go out with you, Yuffie. Vincent, guard the room." Cloud muttered, walking to the door.

"'Guard'? Guard the room? Against what? Cid's midnight snack raids? Yea, that'll be real effective." Vincent muttered as Cloud opened the door.

"Just... don't get into trouble, okay?" He muttered motioning Yuffie out."

The two left the hotel and came to the main station. Posted within were two female employees, greeting a line of people before the 'Event Plaza' entrance.

"Good evening, sir and madam." One spoke to them. "Tonight is Enchantment Night, so all the rides and attractions are free. We have a show in the Event Plaza if you're interested in attending." She motioned them to the back of the line.

"Interested?" Cloud asked. The girl at his side simply nodded. They took their rightful place in line and waited. Finally, when they're turn came to enter...

"CONGRATULATIONS!" The two employees shouted in unison, scaring the pants off Yuffie (Figuratively, of course.). "You are our ONE HUNDRETH Couple tonight!"

"Uh..." Cloud began. "Woohoo?"

"That means you two will be playing the leads in tonights performance." The smiled, putting their hands on Cloud and Yuffie's shoulders.

"Wait, what?" Cloud asked, still shocked.

"Oh, really? Come on, Cloud! Let's have some fun!" Yuffie responded, pulling on Cloud's hand.

"But I can't act!" He protested.

"It's okay, sir. Just play it how you like, and the rest of the cast will fill in for you." One of the employees grinned, forcibly pushing him to the dressing room to get changed.

-Half an Hour later-

"I feel like a freakin' tin can in this thing!" Cloud complained, stepping out of his dressing room dressed head-to-toe in steel plate. It was clunky to walk in, but in due time, he got the hang of it. Yuffie wasn't long out either. She came out dressed in a long white flowing dress.

"YOU feel like a tin can? Well I feel like a... like a... LIKE A GIRL!" Yuffie blurted out.

"Ah, come on, Yuffers. You look cute in that." Cloud grinned behind the grill faceplate. It was a funny thing. Yuffie had two completely separate reactions to Cloud's statement at the same time. The first separate reaction was embarrassment. Her cheeks turned beet red and she looked away from him. The second was a slight amount of anger.

"Oooooh! You're so lucky you're wearing armor or I'd slap you." Cloud just grinned.

"Alright everyone. Two minutes to show time." One of the employees from earlier stated, walking to Cloud. "All suited up, Legendary Hero Alfred?"

"Alfred?" Cloud's eyebrow hiked up under his helmet.

"That's your character." Her eyes migrated to Yuffie. "Oh! You look so cute, Princess Rosa." She chimed in, looking Yuffie over. The Wutai Ninja just groaned and rolled her eyes. "Alright, take your places." She vanished into one of the staff rooms.

"Hehe." Cloud chuckled to himself as he and Yuffie walked to their starting places. "Told you you're cute." Another blush.

"S-shut up! Don't talk like that, you're embarrassing me..." They took their places and waited. The stage had been dressed like that of a castle.

"A long time ago..." A narrator started. Cloud holstered his sword on his back and prepared himself. "In a kingdom in turmoil, a call was placed out to all the great heroes in the land. The Evil Dragon King, a creature of untold power, had captured the King's only daughter, Princess Rosa. Who should answer the call? But the one and Only: The Legendary Hero, Alfred!" Cloud stepped out in his usual smug, mighty fashion. He walked to the center of the stage. The audience clapped as he entered. Cloud stood center stage and placed his arms on his hips, facing the audience. A flash of red caught his hindered eye. _Vincent?_ He thought to himself.

-Audience.-

Vincent sat in the audience with Tifa at his side. Since Cloud had decided to take off with Yuffie, he decided it might be a good idea to wear himself out before bed. So, Tifa and he decided to go to the performance. They had met up with Aeris, Red XIII, Cid, Cait Sith, and Barret along the way. The funny thing was, everyone was with someone else. Well, except Cait Sith. Aeris and Red were sitting together, and Cid and Barret were. They had all formed a line about halfway in the middle of the audience. Vincent stood up to look at the man in armor better. Something was familiar about him.

"Holy sweet Lucrecia, that's Cloud." He muttered sitting down.

"No!" Tifa responded, looking more formally at him. She chuckled. "It is! The sword is a dead give away. Then the Princess is..."

"Yuffie." Vincent responded in his usual cold tone. Barret gagged.

"Foo, what 'chu talkin' bout?! Yuffie would never agree to that!" He thought for a second. "Come to think of it, Cloud wouldn't either..."

-Stage-

Back with "The Legendary Hero Alfred". Cloud scanned the audience, still standing in a haughty pose. From his left, a knight came running out. He took a sliding kneel before Cloud.

"_Sir Alfred! Sir Alfred!_" The knight sang, his head hanging. "_Come quick! The kingdom is in DANGER!_" He continued. Cloud turned to face him. He had no time to study the lines, so he had to think fast. Singing was not his strong point.

"_Please stand! Dear Knight! And tell me the PROBLEM!_" He bellowed. Huh. Not so bad.

"_It's a disaster! A catastrophe! Our dear Princess has been kid...napped!_" His voice dropped at kidnapped. Cloud placed a hand on his chin.

"_Quick! Dear Knight! Take me to thy king!_" Cloud's voice dropped on 'king'. The knight stood and motioned him on. They ran a bit before a man dressed in regal garb came out.

"_My liege! My King! I have found our hero! The Evil Dragon King will not stand a chance against... The Legendary... Hero... AL-FREEEEEEEEED!_" Cloud and the Knight knelt before the King.

"_Arise, my hero! You must save my daughter from the clutches of that evil creature!_" He motioned to stage right as a man in a dragon costume came out with Yuffie over his shoulder. Cloud chuckled to himself. Yuffie had chocobo panties. Leverage for later on.

"_Gwa ha ha! Gwa ha ha!_" Seeing someone laugh in a singing tone was quite awkward. Cloud just beared it. "_King Leos! King Leos! I have here! Your daughter! Unharmed! Unscathed! And she can be returned to you! All I ask in return is..._" The suspense was killing everyone. "_YOUR KINGDOM!_" He finished. The crowed erupted in 'boo's and 'hiss's. Cloud stepped up.

"_Demon! Monster! Your days are numbered! For I am here to stop you! Prepare! Be ready! For your END!_" He dug his sword into the ground. He moved his head to the knight and sang clearly so all could hear. "_Good knight! Brave knight! Help me save this kingdom! Rush him! Charge him! DISTRACT HIM!_" The knight nodded.

"_THE BRAVE!_" The Knight readied himself. "_DO NOT FEAR THE GRAVE!_" He charged in, and the Evil Dragon King just knocked him aside. But in doing so, released Yuffie from his grasp. Cloud quickly ran and grabbed Yuffie into his arms, picking her up.

"_TRICKED! CONFOUNDED! BY A SIMPLE PESANT! Heed my words, Alfred! The day will come when I shall have my revenge!_"

"_Demon! Monster! Take thy leave before I unleash my fury! And destroy you with OMNI! SLASH!_" He called. The Evil Dragon King, thwarted, departed. Cloud put Yuffie on her feet.

"_My hero! My savior! How can I ever thank you?_" Yuffie sang, hugging Cloud. The king advanced.

"_Alfred! You did it! You vanquished the monster! Celebrate! Festival! We must honor your duty!_" The knight stood shaking.

"_Thy Knight! He lives! A hero like no other!_" Cloud helped the man up. He nodded to the man in armor. "_My victory this day was sealed by your actions! Come, celebrate with us!_" He turned to the king. "_Your highness! Your MAGESTY! I do humbly request thy daughter's hand... in marriage!_" There came 'ahh's from the audience.

"_A hero! A savior! You request shall be granted!_" Cloud tore his helmet off and knelt before Yuffie, taking her hand and kissing it.

"_My love! My life! Will you be mine!?_" Yuffie nodded and smiled.

"And so, with order and peace restored to the kingdom, The Legendary Hero Alfred was wed to the Princess Rosa. Three thousand years of peace would be to follow." Cloud linked his arm with Yuffie and everyone left the stage. The audience stood and clapped, Vincent with them.

"That was damn good." Vincent muttered to Tifa, who agreed.

-Afterwards. Tram-

Yuffie and Cloud sat silently on the tram as they passed around the Golden Saucer.

"I think we did a great job with the play. Vincent was even clapping." Cloud muttered trying to break the silence. Yuffie turned around sharply.

"Vincent was there?!" She blurted out. "Tell me he wasn't!" She continued.

"It's..." Cloud began. "Kinda hard to miss Vincent, ya know. But yea, he was there."

"Who else saw that?!"

"Everyone was there." As Cloud said this, Yuffie put her head in her hands.

"I'm gonna die from embarrassment..." She groaned.

"Oh, you weren't bad. You did a lot better then me. I hate singing."

"Cloud... one thing bothers me, though..." Yuffie picked her head up. "Earlier... you said you couldn't act. But... that performance was so... God... so GOOD! So convincing! You can too act!" Cloud crossed his arms, looked down and laughed.

"I told you, Yuffie. I can't act." He went silent.

"But..." She continued. "The performance!" Cloud went silent permanently. He kept his arms crossed. "Tell me! Why were you so good if you can't act?" More silence. "Cloud?!" More silence. "Come on! Tell me!" Silence. "GAWD I could just DIE!" More silence. "SAY SOMETHING!" She bellowed. The tram pulled into the station.

"What if..." Cloud began as they got out. "What if I told you... I was so good. I gave such a... as you said, convincing performance. What if I said that I wasn't acting. I didn't _pretend_ to be in love. I didn't _pretend_ any of it." He paused. He turned and faced Yuffie. "What if I told you that everything I said... everything I did back there. It wasn't Alfred talking to Rosa. It wasn't Alfred saving Princess Rosa. What if I said it was Cloud talking to Yuffie. Cloud saving Yuffie from an evil king."

"Cloud..." Yuffie began. Cloud silenced her by grabbing her shoulders.

"You're a sneak. You're a tramp. You don't belong anywhere, Yuffie. You come, you steal, and you move on. You don't deserve to have any friends!" He spoke. "Like me. I don't belong anywhere. I don't deserve to know or be friends with anyone we call a friend. Vincent, Barret, Tifa, Aeris, Red, you, Cid, I don't deserve any of it. But why do I have all these friends? More importantly, what kept you with us, even after Wutai?" He didn't wait for an answer from her. "It's because what we have together is greater then what we have apart."

"Cloud... What about Tifa?" She asked.

"Tifa... We've known each other too damn long to feel anything for anyone. Aeris and I go together about as well as water and fire. But you... I dunno. You and I have something in common."

"What's that?" She asked.

"A sense of unbelonging. We're outcasts no matter where we go. Look at Wutai. Everyone gave your position away. We don't belong anywhere... but together..." He diverted his eyes. "I suppose I should get to the point. Yuffie." He paused, giving himself a second to study her reactions. "You wanted me to say something. So here's my something." He inhaled. The moment he opened his mouth, he shut it with the sight of something red morphing into his perifs. He spun around. "Vincent?!" He called. Standing in the shadows was the slender figure of Vincent.

"'Yuffie I love you.'" Vincent muttered in his mellow tone.

"'Scuse me?" Yuffie asked.

"That's your line, right Cloud?" He stepped forward. "'Yuffie I love you'? Let me tell you Cloud. Love is a powerful emotion. It can make great men stupid and stupid men great. I know. I loved a woman once. A long time ago. Now look at me. I'm a monster. I probably have her to thank for that more then Hojo... but you know what? It's a double-edged sword. I hate what she had to do to save my life... but I'm happy she did it. I won't try to stop you... but next time, Cloud. Do us all a favor."

"What?" Cloud asked, looking at the red-cloaked gunner. Behind his high collar, Cloud could have sworn he saw him smirk.

"Take some singing lessons." Vincent muttered. Cloud discarded this last statement.

"Oh... Cloud..." Yuffie smiled, looking at him.

"Just pretend I'm not here..." Vincent muttered, morphing back into the shadows. Yuffie glared at the wisp of a red cloak as it vanished.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" She asked, letting her guard drop.

"I was about to. Then you pulled the whole Wutai Materia Heist." He replied. Yuffie simply grinned.

"Sorry... about that..."

"It doesn't matter. What's done is done. It's taken until tonight to realize that what feelings I have for you are genuine. Not something instilled within me by some money-grubbing corporation." Yuffie started to speak. "Don't... just let me finish." Cloud pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. "Whatever happens... no matter who dies from this time out... I'll always be here for you, Yuffie. Always." Yuffie could only hold on. It was too much for her in one night.

"Cloud... I..." Yuffie began. "I've never had the chance... that is... I've never wanted to kiss anyone in my life... Could you... show me what it's like?" He didn't need words to agree. He let his actions speak for him. He picked her head up with a finger. Her eyes we closed in anticipation. He leaned in and kissed her, lightly at first, but it eventually turned passionate.

-Some ways away.-

"Cloud!" Tifa called, looking for Cloud, who had disappeared after the performance.

"YO CLOUD!" Barret rumbled. Tifa recoiled.

"Do you have to shout right next to my ear like that?"

"Haha! Sorry Tifa." Barret responded. The group saw Vincent walking towards them.

"Vincent Valentine!" Red called, running up to him. "Did you find him?" Vincent stopped and patted Red twice on the head.

"Somethings are best left unsaid." He muttered simply, continuing to walk away from them.

"Vincent!" Tifa called. Vincent stopped and chuckled.

"They went on the Gondola. More, I'll not say." He continued on his journey.

"Come on!"

-Back with Cloud and Yuffers-

It was quite an interesting sight to anyone who just happened to pass by. There they were. A spiky-haired blond kid and a rather liberally dressed brunette just standing in the middle of the room, kissing. But, as we know the whole story, we don't find such a sight to be interesting nor confusing.

Right?

"Cloud..." A voice echoed in the distance. Neither reacted. Yuffie was too enchanted by the whole experience to care.

"CLOUD!" The voice shouted louder. Yuffie broke away first. Her eyes got large and surprised.

"Tifa! Urm... Hi!" She smiled.

"Cloud... please tell me what I just saw was not what I think it is..." Tifa began, walking towards him. Now, I think would be a great time to explain the expressions on everyone's face. All of Cloud's friends had different thoughts of what assailed their eyes.

First, Red XIII. Red wasn't entirely sure what he was seeing. He understood the human emotion called 'love'. His people experienced it too. It was love for his mother that drove his father to his own fate. Red, unsure what in the living state of crap Cloud was doing, simply settled to sit on the ground and scratch his left ear.

Barret was a little angered by what he saw. He knew Tifa well. He also knew that Cloud and Tifa were childhood friends. It was also Tifa who recommended Cloud to join AVALANCHE. If, that was, Barret could get him out of SOLDIER. It was a lucky break that he was already out of SOLDIER. Barret just looked in awe at the two, and slapped Red a little for being disrespectful.

Cid was probably the only one smiling. He didn't understand Tifa and Cloud's relationship before, as they just met. He was always happy when two people fell in love, but in this case, he sensed much anger in Tifa.

Cait Sith's not important, so there ya go.

Aeris was, I think by far, the most broken up of anyone. After all, she was meant for Cloud (In her sick and twisted mind, anyway.) She was staring with her mouth open.

Tifa, next to Aeris, was the second-most shocked. She had always pictured her walking down the aisle with Cloud, not some ninja skank from Wutai.

Right. Now that we know everyone's state of mind, let's move on with the story.

"Cloud, you little..." Tifa started, advancing on him. Cloud maneuvered Yuffie behind him to protect her from the oncoming storm. "How could you?! YUFFIE of all people!?"

"Tifa, listen!" Cloud began.

"You listen to me, Cloud! I'm through listening to you! If you prefer her over me... fine. That's just damn fine! But listen well to my words. It's Yuffie. She's a thief. She'll ruin you just like she ruined countless others! And when she does, don't come crying to me!"

"Cloud..." Aeris' eyes were tearing up. "How could you? We were... so perfect together..." She ran out crying. Tifa was more angry then hurt. Sure, she had feelings for Cloud, but they had known each other too long to feel anything for one another. Instead, Tifa pushed Cloud aside and slapped Yuffie across her face. Shocked, Yuffie fell over.

"TIFA!" Cloud shouted, grabbing Tifa's ponytail before she could kill Yuffie. (Which Cloud thought she had every intention on doing.) Cloud gave a good pull, forcing Tifa onto her back. "STOP THIS!" Cloud shouted, pinning her to the ground. "Stop this right now, Tifa! Stop it, deal with it, or deal with me. And don't think I won't kill you to protect Yuffie!" Tifa pushed Cloud off of her and turned her back to him.

"Fine, then Cloud. Have your Wutai Flea." She walked away in a huff, pulling her hair out of the ponytail to prevent it being used against her in the future. Barret, Red and Cait Sith walked off without saying anything.

"Personally, mate, I don't see what the problem is." Cid shrugged, patted Cloud's shoulder then followed the rest of the group. A small sob broke Cloud's rage, turning it into care. He looked down at Yuffie. She was still sitting on the ground, holding her cheek crying. Cloud crouched down and put a hand behind her back, and the other across her waist.

"Hey... Hey..." He mused, holding her. "It's okay... don't cry." He tried calming her down. She just kept sobbing.

"She..." Yuffie spoke through her tears.

"Was wrong. Don't worry... Come on, let's get you to bed."

"No... she's right... We don't belong together."

"Hey! Don't say that! That's a lie, and you know it. Tifa is just easily mad. She says things she doesn't mean. Come on, you need some sleep." He picked her up into his arms and began walking to the hotel room. He just hoped he could make it without seeing Tifa along the way.

-Haunted Hotel. Room 6-

Now, before we go any further, I feel the need to explain the room divisions, as to negate any confusion. The rooms were pretty much split between the genders. Yuffie, Tifa and Aeris had their own room, Room 5, while Cloud, Cid and Vincent shared Room 6, Barret, Cait Sith and Red XIII all had room 7.

Cloud managed to avoid seeing anyone along the way. Yuffie had stopped crying by this point, and was on the verge of sleep. He kicked the door shut and saw two distinct patches of red in his perifs. The first was cleaning something on his lap, and the second was curled on Cloud's bed asleep.

"How'd she take it?" Vincent's mellow voice asked. Cloud chuckled to himself.

"Rather well." He replied. "Get off my bed, Red." The dog picked his head up and looked at Cloud.

"Oh..." He stood and stretched. "Sorry. Kinda tired." He jumped off Cloud's bed onto Cid's across the way. Vincent snapped the breach on his three-barreled pistol shut and pointed it out the window, checking the sights. Cloud put Yuffie down on his bed and sat next to her.

"Well." Cloud began, putting his hands on his knees. "Let's hear it."

"Hear what?" Vincent continued, opening his gun again, unsatisfied by the sight line up.

"You're complaint." Cloud muttered. Vincent laughed.

"I told you already, Cloud. I don't have a problem with you and Yuffie. Just take some singing lessons, next time." Vincent's smirk was evident in the moonlight.

"Eh, you funny white boy." Cloud muttered, looking at Yuffie. Vincent snapped his gun shut again and stood.

"Come on, Red." He moved to Red XIII who was asleep on Cid's bed, and poked the side of his head.

"Wha?" Red asked, looking groggily at him.

"Let's go." Vincent replied.

"Wha? Where?" Red stood and jumped off the bed.

"Somewhere. You said you wanted to go on the gondola. I'll take you." Vincent replied, checking his pockets for six Gold Points.

"But... But... What about Cloud?"

"Cloud's a big boy. I think he can be alone in a room with a girl and not do anything. Come on." He opened the door and exited, Red close behind. The sound of the door slamming shut woke Yuffie up.

"Hey, beautiful." Cloud smiled as she looked around. "Feeling better?" Yuffie sat and cracked her neck.

"Yea. I'm fine. Just a little shaken up still." The red hand print on her cheek had all but gone away at this point.

"You know what always made me feel better?" He asked. Yuffie looked up at him with a question in her eyes. "A nice, warm bath. Come on, I'll draw one up for you." She nodded and stood, a smile on her face again. "See? That's what I like to see. A smile." He kissed her and led her to the bathroom.


End file.
